Stop Me If You Heard This One…

When Your System in Life Isn’t Working

Welcome Back. What we are going to chat about today is how to overwhelm can get us off track and how to overcome that. Let’s get to it.

First of all, THANK YOU, to everyone who is hearing this today. I appreciate you and the fact that you took the time to listen in. These podcasts can only help if they are heard. Please share them with your friends and family.

Does it ever seem as if at the end of the day things are not going your way?

I mean you care.

You aren’t lazy.

You are working super hard every day.

When the day is over you are definitely tired.

You are trying to do your best with all of your responsibilities. 

But in spite of your best efforts, things aren’t going well or in the direction, you hoped for. Maybe things in your life aren’t changing for the better and you almost feel as if your wheels are spinning and you are stuck in place.

There was a time when I felt exactly like that. Actually, there have been a number of times in my life where I went through a period just like that.

A number of years ago, the grandmother of one of my students came in with her grandson Edgar. She walked over to me and asked if she could speak to me. They had been a part of my school for a number of years at this point. I had a few minutes, so I was more than happy to oblige.

She told me she had a book that I might find helpful. She said the reason she was asking was that she had noticed how tired, run down and stressed I looked all the time.

As far as how I looked, I had to agree with her. Inside I felt the way I looked in the mirror and to the world.

So this nice grandmother, who was a practicing Buddhist, handed me a book on Buddhism. I wasn’t surprised. People make all kinds of suggestions if they think they can be helpful. I was already familiar with some elements of Buddhism. And while I never practiced it, I had used some techniques in my own life.

The following week I read the book. It was good. I enjoyed it and it was helpful to me towards understanding all that I was experiencing in my life at the time. Grief from my son being hurt. Fatigue from caring for him. Frustration with dealing with his mother. Struggling to keep my business afloat. Fighting to keep my attitude positive. 

The problem was that I was a Christian who wasn’t practicing what I knew from my faith.

I didn’t have anything against Buddhism but it dawned on me, I wasn’t doing the things I already knew. What good would another system do me if I wasn’t using what I already had?

This isn’t me coming at this from a theological position. It’s about our psychology. You see, excluding any theology, it doesn’t always matter what system you choose to go through life with. But if you choose a system but aren’t using it, then you don’t get any benefit from it.

I wasn’t working the system so the system couldn’t work for me.

If I have a system for building a strong marriage and it works for others but I don’t use it, I won’t get the benefits.

It’s the same with food choices and exercise or finances.

If I have a budget but don’t use it, I exclude myself from its benefit.

If I have an exercise plan but don’t use it, I will continue to get weaker over time. Switching to a new program will only help me if I actually use the program as directed.

My problem was I wasn’t using the system, which was my Faith walk, to help me cope with and get through my challenges. Switching to another system whether it is Buddhism, Daoism or Cognitive Behavior and Meditation won’t get me what I want and need unless I put it to work for me by doing the work of the system.

When I got back to prayer, scripture reading, meditation and study, things started to change for me. I saw the world differently and in turn, the world saw me differently. My energy, my attitude, my behaviors started to reflect what was happening to me from the inside out.

We have to learn to take care of ourselves and remember put into play those things that will work as soon as we put the work in.

That’s it for today. Hope this was helpful

So that’s the lesson for me. If I don’t work the system, the system won’t work for me. 

My son had been badly injured in a hit and run collision with two semi-trucks. He needed around the clock care due to a massive traumatic brain injury. His recovery was on my mind 24/7.

My business was shrinking by the day and at what point was down by 90%. As a result, I was in the middle of a foreclosure on our home, bankruptcy as well as my truck being repossessed. I didn’t even know how I was going to get my son to his therapy appointments which were a total of twelve per week.

I was in a relationship that was difficult at best. Unfortunately, it was with the mother of my son and at the time, it was 100% dysfunctional. A friend of mine suggested that I could always move to a new city in a different state but that would have felt like I was abandoning my 

There was a time in my life when if you saw my face, you would have been able to see the stress I was living with as if it had been painted on. It was there every day and around the clock. I couldn’t sleep at night and could hardly stay awake during the day.

Son, I could walk away for fear of how not sticking around would have effected Josh growing up.

I was also in the midst of a custody battle, as a result of his needs with his mother which was very ugly. The pressure from my son’s daily needs and the conflict with his mother were on my mind had too much going on at once.

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